She seems to be extra mad at me because I am feeding her now instead of my husband. That was the reason for a cage with swing out food bowls.
Well, they don't slide out very well and this morning she got me good. I tried not to react but she bit me hard and I am a wimp.
She then stands on the food bowl so I can't open the door. lol
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I have been reading these posts with great interest. I spent almost 40 years with a wild caught Congo Grey. When I brought him home the general consensus was that he'd be nothing but a growling, biting, screaming ornament. Time, patience, love and learning that Grey's can be very slow to accept people to "their" flock was key to our success.
It sounds very much like she is in fact interested in allowing you into that flock, but she is also going to run you through the wringer before that happens.
I know we're not "supposed to" attribute human thought/emotion to our birds (but seriously, how can we not) but in so many ways my beloved Grey was very much like a toddler. He tested me at every turn, pushed the envelope daily to see what my reaction would be. When he consistently didn't get the fireworks he was hoping for the behavior would disappear, and a level of trust began to fill in the gap.
I'm happy to see that you did your best not to react to the bite, that's not easy, but you also told her that she can't intimidate you, this is important for the two of you to get to a place of mutual trust.
I very much agree about the refusal of treats, it should be you who continues to offer it back to her, this is definitely one of those grey tests...if I act like I don't want it, what will she do? Greys are always sizing things up. They're sort of a combination between a feathered genius, and Inspector Gadget. Like they're always trying to figure out the answer to an algebra equation.
Learning her body language, and keeping an eye or her eyes will go along way in trust building. If you see those telltale signs that she's "in a mood" respect her space. Greys seem to have their own highly defined boundaries. Early in my life with IQ I got the point of his beak quite frequently until I learned when to push him a bit and when not to.
I could give you a million examples, but your bird has its own history, its own view of how her world turns and my best advice is still, time, patience, love (and the occasional box of bandaids).
Feel free to reach out if you'd like... Happy to help where I can.